Prolonged sleep – help baby to sleep through the night

Sleep problems

You are not alone if you are having difficulty getting your baby to sleep all night. About a quarter of children under five have sleep problems, particularly refusing to go to bed or waking in the night, and the two often go together. 

If your baby is constantly waking in the night it can disturb your own sleep patterns and you may find it much harder to cope with tasks the next day. Disturbed sleep because your baby has sleep problems may make you prone to depression. As your child grows, it's important to sort out sleep difficulties, because of the pressure sleep troubles puts on your mental and physical well-being, your relationships with your partner and between you and your child. 

There are different sleep strategies, from crying it out at one end of the spectrum to bed sharing at the other. It's up to you and your partner to decide which one best suits your family. 

Sleep strategies

The following tactics can help your baby to sleep well from as early as six weeks. But remember, whichever approach you take, consistency is key: 

• Make daytime feeds social and lively and night-time feeds quiet. That way you’ll help her set her body clock so she can learn the difference between day and night.
• Give her a chance to fall asleep on her own from about six to eight weeks. Put her down when she's sleepy, but still awake. Some experts advise against rocking or breastfeeding babies to sleep, even at this age, because your baby may come to depend on it. It's up to you to decide what's best.
• Set a bedtime routine. Keep it short and simple: bath, diaper and pajamas, and a story or song. Finish the bedtime ritual in your baby's bedroom. It's important she learns her room is a nice place to be.
• Give her a security object, such as a baby blanket or stuffed animal. A great way to make a blanket or teddy bear a favourite is to keep it near you for a while so it smells like you. Babies have a strong sense of smell, and when they startle awake, the smell of their mothers will calm them.
• Let her cry it out. This is suitable once your baby is four or five months old. If she's crying after you've put her down, go to her. Pat her gently and tell her everything's fine, but it's time for sleep. Be gentle, but firm. Leave the room. Wait for a set interval, anything from two to five minutes, then check again. Do this repeatedly until she falls asleep, extending the time between each visit.
• Cuddle up. If you plan to have your baby sleeping in your bed, comfort and rock her so she is ready for sleep as part of her bedtime routine. Lie down together and cuddle her, pretending to sleep, firmly letting her know it's bedtime.
• Share the role of comforter with your partner, so both of you can help your baby fall back to sleep. Once your baby is old enough to do without night-time feeding, she can learn to be comforted by your partner. She might stop needing anyone when she learns there's no food coming!
• Tune in to your baby’s needs: During the day, make her feel secure by spending time connecting with her. If she wakes in the night, try to work out why. Is her diaper full, are her pajamas comfortable, has she got a cold?

If your baby is still waking after you've tucked her in bear in mind that her age will have a lot to do with how well she settles, and you may have to be adaptable according to her stage of development. 

Sleep problems by age: newborn to three months

Babies at the start of this age range sleep for short periods and wake often in the night. You'll have interrupted nights for the first few weeks. But you can start work now on sleep habits that will pay dividends later.

• If she falls asleep while eating or being carried, lay her down in a designated sleeping place, such as a crib, bassinet or a pack and play. If she's awake during daytime, encourage that wakefulness, and socialize with her. By distinguishing between asleep and wakeful periods, you'll help her associate sleep with a proper sleeping place.
• For the first two or three weeks, it's possible that swaddling your baby might soothe her. For some it's the trigger for sleep, but others don't enjoy it.

Sleep problems by age: three to six months

• If you have moved your baby to a crib, she may be finding it difficult to adjust. Read about ways to make the transition to her crib easier.
• If your baby just won't settle, despite all your efforts, it's fine to give her a soother to help her drift off. Bear in mind, though, that if she wakes and can't find it, you might be back to where you started.
• Don't be tempted to start your baby on solids before she's ready to help her sleep. It is not recommended to feed your baby solids before she is six months old.
• Make sure your baby is not staying up too late. An over-tired baby can make for a difficult bedtime.

Sleep problems by age: six to nine months

About this age, babies who have never had sleep problems may start waking up at night because of separation anxiety. When she wakes in the night, she misses you and worries you won't return. 

Problems may also be linked with your baby reaching milestones in her physical and mental development. About now, she is learning to sit up, roll over, crawl, and even pull herself up to a standing position.

• If she's waking in the night to practice her exciting new skill of sitting up, you'll need to teach her how to lie down again. Then stick to your chosen routine for getting her back to sleep.
• Your baby's sudden burst in development isn't the same as a growth spurt, so feeding her during the night won't help her sleep better. In fact, it may prolong the problem and make it worse. She’ll learn to depend on feeding to fall asleep.
• Your baby's sleep may also be disturbed because she is teething. If she doesn't seem to be in pain, stick to your regular sleep routine. But if her gums are hurting, massage them gently with one finger or give her something cold to chew on. If things get really bad, give her the correct dose of infant acetaminophen for her pain.
• If your baby is going to bed after 8:30 pm and she begins to wake during the night, you may be surprised to find that she's much more likely to sleep through the night if you move her bedtime earlier by a half hour.

Sleep problems by age: nine to 12 months

Your baby is old enough to sleep through the night, but she may be changing her nap habits and may still be suffering from separation anxiety. Be prepared to modify your routine as she grows.

• Try moving her afternoon nap to an earlier time and making it shorter. Stick with your bedtime ritual and to be firm about going to sleep. Let your baby know that when it's bedtime, it's bedtime. If it helps, try setting an alarm clock to go off about five minutes before it's time to go to sleep. That way the mandate is coming from an external source, not you.
• Try leaving the door to your baby's room ajar so she can hear you, and be reassured that you're nearby.

If your baby’s sleep difficulties are disrupting your sleep and you feel you can’t cope, read more here.... or talk to your doctor.

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